Merlin, Childhood Memories, and the Wisdom of Looking Back
Sometimes the little things from childhood become much bigger parts of our story than we ever could have imagined.
I recently shared a video on The Nature Within LLC YouTube channel that opened up a little piece of my childhood. It was one of the first opportunities I’ve had to share some of the more vulnerable, personal parts of my upbringing and how certain childhood experiences have connected to the person I am today.
It also brought me back to something I hadn’t really given much thought to until a few years ago.
Merlin. ‘A Real Live Wizard,’ as I utter on the video.
Growing up, my father had an interactive Merlin toy that we kept in the basement. The mechanism was pretty simple. With each contrast change between light and darkness, the toy would come to life. Merlin would respond with a statement or answer.
As a kid, it was just something fun. Something to play with. It was also a bit creepy. It became another one of those little idiosyncrasies that become part of the collection of memories we carry through childhood.
The toy itself was arbitrary. What I didn’t recognize at the time was the connection to something much greater that I would eventually come to appreciate.
Over the years, I’ve developed a real interest in truth, wisdom, integrity, leadership, authenticity, and the relationship between our human experience and something deeper within us. Somewhere along the way, I began looking back at that childhood memory of Merlin through a completely different lens.
For those familiar with the legendary stories of King Arthur and Merlin, their relationship offers some interesting symbolism.
Arthur represents leadership, courage, responsibility, and the willingness to stand in his truth. Merlin represents wisdom, foresight, guidance, and the ability to see beyond what is immediately in front of us.
Arthur may have been the king, but Merlin was the wisdom that helped guide him.
That’s where I find the connection so interesting.
I love the trusting relationship that was honored and celebrated between them. Leadership without wisdom can become power without purpose. Knowledge without integrity can become self-serving. Authenticity requires us to look beyond the roles we play and understand what is actually true within ourselves.
These are themes that have become increasingly important in my own life and in the work I do through TNW.
I spend a great deal of time exploring how we develop our understanding of ourselves. How our upbringing, experiences, relationships, programming, and even the little things we may have overlooked contribute to the person we become.
Sometimes we spend so much time looking forward, trying to figure out where we’re going, that we forget to look backward and appreciate some of the things that helped shape us along the way.
I don’t believe every childhood memory needs to carry some profound spiritual meaning. Nor do I think we need to search for hidden messages in everything that happens. But I do believe there is value in revisiting the things that brought us joy, sparked our curiosity, or allowed us to express ourselves freely.
Sometimes the significance isn’t in the original experience. It’s in what we eventually recognize through it.
I was fortunate to grow up in a household with two parents who did an amazing job raising three boys who were extremely close in age. We had a great childhood. There was room to play, explore, be curious, and develop our own personalities.
As parents, we don’t always know what the seemingly insignificant moments are going to mean to our children years down the road. We don’t know which toy, conversation, experience, opportunity, or little expression of individuality might stick with them.
We certainly don’t know what those experiences might eventually inspire.
Looking back, I’ve always had a playful side. I enjoy humor, curiosity, exploration, and finding connections in things that others might overlook. That part of me hasn’t disappeared. If anything, it’s become an important part of how I approach life, relationships, and my work.
Writing, coaching, breathwork, spiritual exploration, and the conversations I have with others all allow me to express different parts of that curiosity.
This is what I’ve come to appreciate most about growing older. We don’t necessarily need to become someone entirely different. Sometimes we just need to reconnect with the parts of ourselves that were always there.
The playful kid. The curious observer. The person who asked questions. The one who wasn’t afraid to explore something simply because it was interesting.
There is wisdom in that, too.
Through TNW, I often talk about the importance of truth, integrity, trust, and authenticity. I encourage people to look at their experiences, recognize the patterns they’ve developed, and explore how they might reconnect with a more genuine expression of themselves.
But that doesn’t always have to begin with something heavy or difficult.
Sometimes it begins with a childhood memory.
Sometimes it’s a toy in the basement.
Sometimes it’s a conversation with your father that you didn’t fully appreciate until decades later.
And sometimes, you too, may even put out information into the world that is vulnerable and exposing! These are videos created for YouTube that gives us raw, unfiltered and unscripted avenues to share a little more of ourselves with the world.
I think that’s part of what makes our individual journeys so interesting. We don’t always recognize the connections while we’re living them. We make sense of certain things later, when we’ve gained a little more perspective and wisdom.
So, to all the moms and dads who create environments where their children can embrace curiosity, individuality, uniqueness, and a little bit of playful exploration, keep doing what you’re doing.
You never know what you’re planting.
You never know which seemingly insignificant experience might become a meaningful part of someone’s identity, purpose, or contribution to the world.
And you never know how something you encouraged in your child might eventually pay forward through the lives they touch.
Maybe that’s one of the more beautiful aspects of parenting. You don’t get to see the entire story as it’s unfolding.
You just get to help create an environment where the story can develop.
As for Merlin, I don’t think the toy itself was particularly magical. But the memory certainly has become more meaningful to me over time.
And that’s the point, there are no rules to being you.
We spend so much of life searching for wisdom, answers, and direction. We exhaust so much energy trying to fit into the herd. I’m challenging you to do the opposite. What we are seeking is already inside of us.
Sometimes the answers aren’t necessarily somewhere new. Sometimes they’re found by looking back at the things that have been with us all along.
Keep your curiosity. Embrace your uniqueness. Don’t lose your playful nature. And never underestimate the little things that help make you who you are.
After all, the journey back to ourselves doesn’t always begin with a grand revelation.
Sometimes it begins in a basement, with a little toy named Merlin.
The Nature Within LLC
Find your light. Spread it out into the world.
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